Ezenhemmer Plastic Bags and Child Rearing Utensils Party (just Ezenhemmer or Ezen for short) is a reaction against the world-wide, dead boring, political seriousness. The basic idea of Ezenhemmer is that everybody would feel a lot better and be more in harmony with the rest of the world if we began to be a little bit more cheerful and playful instead of engaging ourselves in disputes with our opponents. Ezenhemmer wants, as does the other major political power in Sweden, the Galago Party, to be labelled as a party "For A Better Life", instead of a party "Against Something We Think We Don't Like Just Right Now".
Ezenhemmer basic point of view is that no problem in the world is so big or
so serious that we must sacrifice our joy of living, or our ability to play
and have fun while dealing with it.
The typical BBS has a number of "meetings", dealing with different topics, where the users can communicate and exchange ideas with each other. One day a marvellous new meeting emerged, "PLASTIC BAGS - EXCHANGE OF EXPERIENCES". And thus, by discussing the collector's value of an old Marks & Spencer's carrier bag anno 1977 or a Selfridges in mint condition anno 1979, the initiated fooled the less knowing to believe that there really existed a hysteria for collecting plastic bags (there does, I'm told (translators note))
hilarious joke continued, and after a while the initiated began to refer to
a non existent Swiss catalogue of European collector's prices for plastic
bags. For credibility reasons there was a need for a publisher of the catalogue
and the following sequence from a recording by Swedish comedian and telephone
terrorist Kalle Sändare gave some inspiration:
Some time later the BBS "Kattplågarnas Gille / Esquire" (Cat Tormentors Guild / Esquire) had the honour of being allowed to test a new BBS program, created by Mats Nilsson Esq. in Västerås. The system had to have an appropriate working name and with the above episode in mind you don't have to think long to come up with a name that sounds funny as well as having the character of an inside joke. As it happened, the system became permanent and the name intact, and thus the legendary Ezenhemmer BBS was born to father a thousand fabled stories. In this rich environment, the most unserious place for compufreaks in Sweden, the seed of the country's most unserious political party was planted.
how does "Child Rearing utensils" enter into it? One explanation that readily
comes to mind is: "Put a plastic bag over the head of an obnoxious spoiled
brat and tie it securely around the neck, and he will show signs of submission
and good manners in some 15-20 minutes time". :-)
In 1991 the Ezenhemmer Plastic Bags and Child Rearing Utensils Party got as much as 49 votes in the parliamentary election, which is more than the Stockholm Party, the Syndicalists and the Cheaper Beer Party got TOGETHER. This made the party the 33rd largest in Sweden at the time, beaten among the (un)serious parties by the Donald Duck Party, 1535 votes, and the Galago Party (the Merry Ones) 52 votes.
the 1994 election, however, the party collected as many as 102 votes, partly
as a result of the successful co-operation with the Swedish Miniature Cars
& Intoxicating Beverages Association (Svenska småbils & Rusdrycksförbundet,
In the 1991 election, the typical Ezenhemmer voter was a man, 18-45 years old. He lived in Stockholm and was working with, or interested in, computers. Only 16% of the voters were women.
the 1994 election the response was countrywide and the percentage of women
voting for Ezenhemmer had risen to 35% (please don't ask how we know that,
as a persons political view is supposed to be a secret (translator's note)).
Although the result keeps getting higher, there are still just a small number
of people from outside the computer circles.
What or who KM really is is debated among the learned. Some are convinced that he is God, others interpret the cryptical letters as 'Katten Mickelin' (in English 'Pussy Mickelin') and suggest that he is the black cat that used to be seen in the home of one of the founding members.
Fanatic members of the party refer to KM as the Unmentionable, the Black One, the Furry One or the Almighty. There also circulates a book called KMGB, that is said to contain the last fragments of the ancient, sacred and holy script 'KM's Good Book'.
(addendum: The above mentioned black cat has, after the text was written,
become an ex cat, and is
now chasing the heavenly mice waiting for the right time to return to his
followers. (translator's note))
Fax & Muscle Minister
Minnisster off Mispeling
Minister of Fish Fingers
Minister of Fnord
Free Speed Minister
Minister of Ugly Briefcases
Drunken Minister #1
Drunken Minister #2
Shepherd for Drunken Ministers
Keeper of the Ministerial Privies & Sugar-Puffs
Minister of Frogs
Minister of Making-a-Total-Ass-of-Himself
Minister of Hats
Minister of Josefsson
Minister of Cookie Jars
Minister of Carbon Dioxide
Minister of Bankruptcy
Feminister in Boots
Minister of Leather & Pederasty
Minister of Lesser Xmas Trees
Minister of Painful Experiments with Peasants
Minister of Matters Concerning Tore and Olle
Minister of Mint Condoms
Minister of Dirty Tricks
Minister of Virginity
Minister of the Party Song
Minister of Propaganda
Minister of Psychoactivy
Minister of Satanism
Minister of Hell & Gore
Mud Wrestling Feminister
Minister of Couch Lizards
Minister of Black & White Photography
Minister of Boredom
Minister of Space Occupancy
Minister of Foreigners' Affairs
Minister of Emigration
Minister of Weather
Minister of Bleeding
Minister of Opinions
Minister of Elks
Minister of Beer
This text or parts thereof may be distributed free and copied for whomever is concerned as long as the contents are not altered.
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